Stay Away From Washington D.C.
This morning on both local and national television the plan for inaugural security was displayed in all it’s misconceived glory. Personally, I’m not the least bit concerned, since I’m headed south to the sunshine on that date, and I don’t anticipate any problems leaving the area.
But like Mr. T says, “I pity the fool who stays in town.”
The way the Secret Service has this event planned nobody will get to go.
They have made a security zone so large that if you’re not staying at the Hay Adams Hotel, (Right across the street from the White House), you probably will only have to walk five or six miles to get to the event, where you’ll be strip searched in 20 degree weather before they let you through.
What is one to do?
Well…if I was around…which I ain’t gonna be, I’d adopt the winter football rules. Having been a season ticket holder for years, I’d sell the December tickets to someone who enjoyed standing in the freezing cold, and watch the game from my most comfortable chair with the heat turned up high, and plenty of food and malt beverages. That’s what folks should do for this inauguration, which by the way they can TIVO, and watch as many times as they want to. Hell, they can even watch tapes of other inaugurations too, and stay toasty warm, without having to worry about how the hell they’re going to get home.
And if the whole thing gets tedious, the can always change the channel and watch Regis and Kelly, one of whom has a drop of royal blood somewhere.
Meanwhile, I hope to land where the average daily temperature is 80. Oh poor, poor pitiful me. As the Obama machine puts the petal to the metal I’ll be catching some rays, and contemplating my bellybutton.
Jessie in California wrote in after receiving a box of Kahuna Kandy for Khristmas. “Wow! This was a very unexpected gift from my Dad. At first, I didn’t know what to think…maybe the Old Man had finally lost it. But after a day or two it dawned on me that maybe I was playing it too fast and loose, and needed to make a re-assessment. Now my roommates and I are always carrying protection, and also have it in our cars, and in the house.”
Jessie’s Dad loaded her up with Kahuna Kandy, including the Rechargeable Runt, Electronic Pocket Whistles, and Pepper Mace Batons.
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/runtstungun.htm
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/alarm.htm
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/macebatons.htm
If you’ve been reading the big newspapers for the last week or so, they are full of the annual crime is down statistics. Don’t believe a word of it. In fact, you should treat it like there is no financial crisis either.
Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.
Aloha kaua,
Nui (Big) Kahuna
