RoboKahuna Coming Soon
I’ve been running around all morning doing pre-surgery what-evers in order to satisfy the hospital bureaucrats, who love nothing more than stacks of cover your ass paperwork. I’m lucky that I have excellent insurance, and don’t require pre-authorizations and other such nonsense that would make all this really tedious.
I’m going under the knife Thursday afternoon at 2:30 EST, and the doctor is going to fix the little problem that I’m having, which is that two disks in my neck are pressing on my spinal cord and ulnar nerve. I’ve been walking like Walter Brennan for a month or so now, and I just realized how dated that reference is. But some of you will know what I’m talking about. (Right Willis?)
I’ve been told that I should feel 50% better walking out of the hospital, and up to 90% better within a week. That’s heartening, but they told me after my second heart surgery that I was A-OK, which turned out to be a big crocoshizz, since I had a quadruple bypass 8 weeks later. But that’s what keeps life exciting, right?
So after this little thing is completed I’ll need only one more procedure to repair my shoulder, and then I should be able to give both the hospital and my insurance carrier a well needed respite. And with some rehabilitation I should be ready for the professional wrestling circuit by fall. RoboKahuna will kick some big ass, and pack stadiums and arenas from coast to coast.
Little do those big galootz know what they’re in for. After I bang them around a bit with my patented Hawaiian hip shake, and give them the Kahuna Krusher, followed by the Nui Nockout, then…and only then I am really going to get down to bizness.
I’ll reach in to my specially designed trunks and pull out…(don’t even go there), my Stun Master Telescopic Stun Baton. It’s an unbelievable 21.5 inches long fully extended, and a respectable 13 inches long when collapsed. And it expands with just the slightest touch, or tug. Mooks who make an attempt to grab it when fully extended are in for a big surprise. They get zip zap zup zap zipped with 800,000 volts of mook mashing power. Not to mention that you can just plug it in next to your computer or cellphone.
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/telescopicstunbaton.htm
And no, if a mook grabs you while you’re giving him the buzz of a lifetime, it won’t transfer to you.
Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.
Aloha kaua,
Nui (Big) Kahuna
I’m so excited to see Robo Kahuna. !!!