Mook Invents New Mullet Dance
There is no better way to start the day than by reading an email from someone who has successfully followed my advice. Down in Georgia there’s a smart sumbitch named Chesnell, (that’s his real name), and Ches stocked himself up on tools, not once, but several times, over the past few years.
Ches is never out and about without several options at his disposal, and if another family member is with him…they have a high number of options. On this occassion he was with his 19 year old daughter at a convenience store when a mook tried his hand at armed robbery.
I say tried his hand at it because he certainly wasn’t very good at it. Ches’ daughter was just coming to the counter when the mook demanded that the cashier give him all the money. He was holding what Ches’ daughter correctly identified as a BB gun when he made the demand. The cashier opened the till, but it was about that time that the mook started to experience a live demonstration of what it feels like…to have near a million volts of electricity running through his body.
Ches’ daughter had pulled her Runt 950 rechargeable stun gun out of her pocket and applied it just under the arm of the mook where he was holding the BB gun. The BB gun fell out of the mooks hand, and he started doing a chicken dance that involved him jerking and flailing right into Ches’ fist, whereupon he dropped into a nice slumber.
The cops were called, and when they heard the story all they could say was, “What a dumb sonofabitch.”
A cursory search of the mulletheads car turned up a crack pipe, some speed, and a quart of shine, which according to the cops was one step ahead of turpentine, and nothing any real good ole boy would have been proud of.
The cops examined the Runt, and gave it back to Ches’ daughter. They said they would tell him he got beat up by a girl whenever he came to.
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/runtstungun.htm
The long and short of it is: They family that tools up together is a real wrecking crew should the need ever arise, like it did here. Ches says that what he really wanted a chance to use his steel baton, but that he saw the mooks circuits were already fried as he started to dance. A short right was all he needed, and that did the trick.
Just a thought, but couldn’t some of these morons be shoveling snow here? Commander Obama is always talking about those “shovel ready” jobs, so why can’t we put these clowns to work? Maybe then people here could send their kids to school.
Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.
Aloha kaua,
Nui (Big) Kahuna
