Mook Gets FUBARED In Break In
Ain’t nothin’ makes me happier than the story of a mook who gets himself handled the old fashioned way, as in getting his ass kicked good and hard, complete with bruises, welts, scratches, and a broken bone or two.
That’s just what happened to a mook I’ll call Rooty, to protect the upstanding citizen who dealt with him on the occassion of Rooty’s unannounced visit to a crib that didn’t belong to him. Rooty was attempting a little B & E in a suburb somewhere’s near Dallas, or was it Austin? Methinks it was in Texas because the OC (Outstanding Citizen) was wearing Lucchese boots.He mentioned this because he had to clean off some spatter the mook left when he fell onto the boots.
So it twas bout 1:30 in the AM last week when our OC heard some noise off his back door. He tuned in a little more deeply, and he definitely heard someone jimmying the lock. Our OC sighed, and pulled Old Reliable out of his boot. Old Reliable in this case was a 26 inch Steel Baton, attached to a tough, fit, and ornery 250 pound roughneck who stands 6 foot 4 inches tall in his bare feet.
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/telescopic.htm
OC crept into a good position just off the kitchen, and waited for the mook to come in. A minute or two later the mook opened his frig, and got himself a beer, having a swallow or two as he cased the kitchen. The mook even commented on the temperature of the beer. “Nice and cold!” Then he finished it, putting the bottle on the counter.
He then strolled right into the next room, where he made a new friend, called TSB for short. (Telescopic Steel Baton) Now ordinarily, the mook never danced with folks he just met, but when he felt Old Reliable come crashing across his ribs he just sort of fell into a natural toe tapping.
He went to his right, where he had his knife, when Old Reliable kissed his left knee, sending him into a break dancing frenzy. Then he met with the Lucchese’s, who have always been a hard nosed bunch.
Then he felt himself being lifted, in a spiritual sort of way, and a new journey began, one in which he could hear the crunch of boot heels on gravel. Then he was falling, which was pleasant enough, at least until he hit what Uncle Jed called the see-ment. The next sensation was something thick and sort of oily and warm, but unfortunately for him, it wasn’t bubbling crude.
Right now our OC is at work, his good buddy Old Reliable tucked into his boot. Old Reliable doesn’t work very often, but when he does, it’s always a good story.
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/telescopic.htm
Old Reliable comes in three sizes, 16, 21, and 26. You don’t want to mess with any of this bunch.
Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.
Aloha kaua,
Nui (Big) Kahuna
Outrageous!
I would have invited him to sit for tea and strumpets, after which I would inspire him through interpretive dance to attend our marvelous public school system. Then he could get a stable job doing stuff for the community.