It Was Just Like Crop Dusting
If you’ve ever spent any time in the country you may have witnessed “crop dusting.” It’s basically a crazy mofo in a small plane spraying nasty chemicals out the tail end.
One place I had to whole up in one summer had a really bad skeeter problem, and at night the plane would fly overhead spewing some stinkin chemical on everything. You really didn’t want to be outside when this was going on, or breathe too much of that crap in. You also had to wash your car all the time, because it played hell with the finish. (That told you it was safe to breathe, right?)
When I got this note the other day I knew right away that this was a country boy, even though he lives in the city. He had hisself a little incident at the store he owns, and he referred to what happened as: “It was just like crop dusting.”
What happened was this. He was getting ready to close up his place when four mooks walked in and immediately split up. (He has a convenience store.) They kept moving all around, and glancing up at him at the register. He wasn’t worried because he had a 1 pound pistol grip canister of Wildfire on his left, which you couldn’t see from the other side of the counter.
Pretty soon the mooks converged on the counter. One of them pulled a pipe and told him to hand over the money. He countered their offer, raised them, and started laying down a trail of vapor across all of them, starting with the one closest to the door, and then moving in. All four of them went down, and he jumped the counter and went outside to get some fresh air.
As he went outside a car pulled up, and a couple of genuine U.S. Marines got out. He told them they really didn’t want to go in at the moment, and what had happened. They asked if he needed any help, and he told them he just wanted to get rid of them. The Marines waited a few minutes, then went in and dragged the mooks out.
There may have been a few slaps, jabs, and kicks involved as they accomplished their mission. The mooks disappeared down the street. The Marines hung out while our crop duster opened the doors and aired the place out. They got a couple of cases of beer on the house for answering the call of duty.
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/wildfire.htm
The only thing worse than getting hit with Wildfire…is getting dosed by a 1 pound canister of Wildfire.
That pistol grip pounder is something to see when it’s on full blast. Crop dusting becomes Mook dusting, and Mook dusting is definitely more effective.
(Do not test drive this product indoors…and if you use it indoors… don’t hang around to breathe it in yourself. Skeedaddle!)
If you have ever eaten, or played with habernero peppers, you know they are hot. Wildfire is habernero pepper to the tenth power! That’s around 3-4 million Scoville units, which is how peppers are tested for heat. That makes it just perfect for using on mooks, kinda like mook salsa.
That’s the ticket.
Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.
Aloha kaua,
Nui (Big) Kahuna
