Dr. Enell Pee PhD CPT: All you cretens should be THANKFUL President Obama has lowered taxes 15 different times. At least he said he did which means it's true. He is a brillant, humble gentleman.

Handsome McDanger: Tiger Woods is back and just as good as ever. Take THAT you anti-hookers in Vegas people!

Captain Pukebag: I love how President Obama is reaching across the aisle and is being so dignified in his speeches.

Borgon Trocepticlon: BORGON TROCEPTICLON

Billy Rathernot: He's a nice guy, he's articulate, but he couldn't sell watermelons if you gave him-

Handsome McDanger: I tried that once. A good time no matter what you find.

Nui (Big) Kahuna: Al Gore couldn't find his ass with four pair of hands.

Mrs. Noodleburger: Al Gore's back with a wonderful piece in The New York Times which deftly shows how global warming is still indeed a threat.

Douchy McDoucherson: Chris Matthews has some excellent analysis of that debate thing that happened today.

Wally: Too bad Dick Cheney couldn't have had his heart attack a few days ago. He could have shared a room with Billy Clint.

Rick Steel: That's another great thing about training with barbells: You don't need to get them Valentine's Day presents. Lift Angry.

Handsome McDanger: I hear Billy Clinton's getting his 17th sponge-bath at the hospital. My hat's off to that horny, horny man.

Snippy McChurglemyer: Who's Ed Begley?