Double Trouble Ain’t A Pair Of Twins
I was sitting in the office this morning looking at the catalog because I had a question about an item that I rarely sell. It’s funny how something can be right in front of your face and you don’t see it, especially if you don’t move very many units.
Then… as if by magic… I was looking at the picture of Double Trouble. Back in the day, before the Old Lady and the kidz, I used to date half of Double Trouble, which was the name I had for a couple of twin sisters from Tex-siss, which is the way the used to pronounce it.
Actually I dated both of them, but not at the same time. The second one I dated much longer than the first, because she didn’t have a problem with me disappearing and then reappearing some time later. The first one always accused me of cheating, when I was mostly busy trying to stay alive in a very dangerous game. But with some broads it’s always about them.
I stopped dating the second half of Double Trouble when I disappeared for about seven months without explanation. I just didn’t seem like I was gone that long, but time flies when you’re busy, and I was hot on the trail of a very bad man, who happened to have a spell of bad luck one night in the desert. He’s now resting comfortably in front of a very big sagauro cactus with a nice view of Meheeco, which is more than he deserved.
(Pardon me while I tear up over this scum sucking creeminal.)
One point two million volts!
That’s the stopping power of the Double Trouble Stun Gun. That’s enough voltage to cook a right fine pig to perfection over a day or so, and it’s delivered all at once for maximum effect. You hit a mook with this and he’ll be blowing snot bubbles for a good long time while he tries to get his fried synapses to fire from one to the other.
It’s sort of like hitting someone with five Hall of Fame linebackers at the same time. The mook doesn’t stand a chance of harming you when you slap him with 1.2 million volts. If you’re feeling charitable you could drop some Kleenex on him, but personally I’d rather watch them wipe it on their sleeve. (If they can lift their arm, which will be a problem for a while.)
http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/doubletroublestungun.htm
Double Trouble may be the joggers best friend. If you like running alone through parks and other places where predators like to hang, this is your equalizer.
When the mook jumps out from the bushes and cover, (remember spring has sprung), and tries to grab you, or actually does, just give him what he needs, and then some…to remind him that Homie don’t play that shizz.
Give the mook 1.2 million volts, and watch him lose all motor control. Call the police, and tell them to clean up on aisle 5. And be sure to remind the mook to have a zappity do da day.
Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.
Aloha kaua,
Nui (Big) Kahuna
