One of the advantages of living in Washington is that occasionally you get to see some of of the clown princes, and princesses, up close and personal. Such was the case yesterday, as I had some business to attend to in Washington, D.C.. I try and avoid trips into the city like the plague, but this was a must do situation.

I met an old friend at one of DeeCee’s more prominent restaurants, and we were seated within earshot of a table of some of the city’s biggest blabbermouths, that included some on air “talent” from MSNBC.

They were having a mighty discussion of some of the supposed sins of members of the Tea Party. The trouble was that they had their facts wrong.

But that has never gotten in the way of a liberal argument at any time that I can remember. If you can’t win the argument on its merits, well …you just play the race card, or like Sean Penn, you wish and pray that all your opponents die of rectal cancer, something we all thought he was anyway.

MSNBC’s chief chatterbox, Chris “Tingle” Matthews tried unsuccessfully to link Tea Party activists to “Birthers” and other fringe groups the udder night on his show, but his guest, Dana Loesch, would have none of his bee ezz, and Matthews grew extremely frustrated as I think he realized nobody was buying what he was selling. I love it when a liberal ambush gets hit with a howitzer.

At the table in question the (Journalists), or Obama hacks, were talking about Tea Party activists hurling the dreaded N word at black politicians who voted for healthcare. The only trouble with their story is that it doesn’t exist. Films of the supposed incident clearly show that what they say happened…didn’t happen.

The Missouri representative who accused Tea Partiers of spitting on him failed the “Show Me” state test. The trouble with video cameras is that they clearly exonerate the people who are being accused.

In Chris Tingles case, he asked about the Obama/Hitler connection as though liberal activists had never held signs showing Bush as Hitler. Or burning Bush in effigy at every anti-war rally. This is from a guy who fancies himself a historian, as long as facts don’t get in his way.

Bart Stupak, a temporary hero while he said he would never vote for a bill with abortion friendly language, is amazed that people are angry with him after he broke his promise and became an Obama lapdog. I think he may have trouble surviving the November elections.

It’s okay to be a dissenter as long as you’re serving the liberal elite. But when you think for yourself…you are no longer an American, you’re a bigot, rascist, homophobe, venomous spitting snake, and you should die of rectal cancer.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com

Or like Alec Baldwin promised, you’re going to leave the country. ”

All aboard!”

Remember that old schoolyard saying; “If it looks like a socialist, walks like a socialist, talks like a socialist…it more than likely is a socialist.”

May the Democrats feel the wrath of the ballot box in November. There is nothing they fear more than all politics is local. There is nothing more humiliating than be tossed by the people you were supposed to be serving.

Good riddance!

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan. (Vote them out!)

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

I got this message this morning and I thought I’d pass it along to you.

The Dinner Roll ..

Once upon a time I was invited to the White House for a private dinner with the President. I am a respected businessman, with a factory that produces memory chips or computers and portable electronics. There was some talk that my industry was being scrutinized by the administration, but I paid it no mind. I live in a FREE country. There’s nothing that the government can do to me if I’ve broken no laws.

My wealth was EARNED honestly, and an invitation to dinner with an American President is an honor. I checked my coat, was greeted by the Chief of Staff, and joined the President in a yellow dining room. We sat across from each other at a table draped in white linen. The Great Seal was embossed on the china. Uniformed staff served our dinner. The meal was served, and I was startled when my waiter suddenly reached out, plucked a dinner roll off my plate and began nibbling it as he walked back to the kitchen..

“Sorry ’bout that,” said the President. “Andrew is very hungry.”

“I don’t appreciate…” I began, but as I looked into the calm brown eyes across from me, I felt immediately guilty and petty. It was just a dinner roll. “Of course,” I concluded, and reached for my glass. Before I could, however, another waiter reached forward, took the glass away and swallowed the wine in a single gulp. ”

And his brother, Eric, is very thirsty,” said the President.

I didn’t say anything. The President is testing my compassion, I thought. I withheld my comments and decided to play along. I don’t want to seem unkind.. My plate was whisked away before I had tasted a bite. “Eric’s children are also quite hungry.”

With a lurch, I crashed to the floor. My chair had been pulled out from under me. I stood, brushing myself off angrily, and watched as it was carried from the room. And their grandmother can’t stand for long.”

I excused myself, smiling outwardly, but inside feeling like a fool. Obviously I had been invited to the White House to be sport for some game. I reached for my coat, to find that it had been taken. I turned back to the President.

“Their grandfather doesn’t like the cold.”

I wanted to shout, “that was my coat!” But again, I looked at the placid smiling face of my host and decided I was being a poor sport. I spread my hands helplessly and chuckled. Then I felt my hip pocket and realized my wallet was gone. I excused myself and walked to a phone on an elegant side table. I learned shortly that my credit cards had been maxed out, my bank accounts emptied, my retirement and equity portfolios had vanished, and my wife had been thrown out of our home.

Apparently, the waiters and their families were moving in. The President hadn’t moved or spoken as I learned all this, but finally I lowered the phone into its cradle and turned to face him.

“Andrew’s whole family has made bad financial decisions. They haven’t planned for retirement and they need a house. They recently defaulted on a subprime mortgage. I told them they could have your home. They need it more than you do.”

My hands were shaking. I felt faint I stumbled back to the table and knelt on the floor.The President cheerfully cut his meat, ate his steak, and drank his wine. I lowered my eyes and stared at the small grey circles on the tablecloth that were water drops.

“By the way,” he added, “I have just signed an Executive Order nationalizing your factories. I’m firing you as head of your business. I’ll be operating the firm now for the benefit of all mankind. There’s a whole bunch of Erics and Andrews out there and they can’t come to you for jobs groveling like beggars…we need to spread YOUR wealth around…”

I looked up. The President dropped his spoon into the empty ramekin which had been his Brulee. He drained the last drops of his wine. As the table was cleared, he lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair. He stared at me. I clung to the edge of the table as if it were a ledge and I were a man hanging over an abyss. I thought of the years behind me, of the life I had lived. The life I had earned with a lifetime of work, risk and struggle.

Why was I punished?

How had I allowed it to be taken?

What game had I played and lost?

I looked across the table and noticed with some surprise that there was no game board between us. What had I done wrong?

As if answering the unspoken thought, President Obama suddenly cocked his head, locked his empty eyes to mine, and bared a million teeth, chuckling wryly as he folded his hands.

“You should have stopped me at the dinner roll,” he said.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

Over the last cupla decades we have seen incredible advances in technology. Yesterday, while I was cleaning out the garage, I found the first computer that I bought, which was state of the art at the time, and cost about four large. I had to laugh about that, because compared to what I use today, (and at a much lower price), that old piece of s— is really a joke.

Technology really does improve our lives. The GPS system in my cars is a godsend, because now I don’t have to spend time on the phone with the old lady telling her how to get somewhere…and then home, which was a daily occurrence.

But for all the progress we have made with technology, some old things never lose their staying power. There aren’t many of them, but the reason they never go out of style and use is because they work.

Such is the case with telescopic steel batons.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/telescopic.htm

Marvin is an average sized guy at about 5′8″ and 165 pounds. He is a a P90X guy, which means he keeps himself in damn good shape, but compared to a lot of mooks, he doesn’t rate in the size department. But as they say, it ain’t the size of the dog, it’s the size of the fight in the dog that counts.

Marvin is also a motorcycle guy, but he rides a rice burner, (a motorcycle usually made in Japan), and which is unacceptable in some circles. While getting some gas one night last week, a couple of bikers wearing colors wheeled in. Immediately one of them started harassing Marvin about his bike, and then about all kinds of things.

Marvin got on his bike to leave, and the guy pushed him. Marvin reacted quickly, keeping the bike and himself upright. He stepped away from the bike and the biker took a swing at him. Marvin pulled his telescopic steel baton from his boot, and placed a love tap on the biker’s shoulder. He went down faster than a ten dollar hooker in a beer and shot joint.

His partner through up the “no mas” sign, and Marvin climbed on his bike and left.

The last time Marvin looked back, the biker was still on the ground.

I can tell you this: You do not want to be on the receiving end of a telescopic steel baton strike. It will do serious damage to anyone in its path. Back in the old days I had an occasion or two to use a steel baton, and the word I would use is “Gamechanger.”

It certainly isn’t high tech, but it works like a champ. It has stood the test of time, and is the 3rd highest selling item in the store for over 4 years. It turns a second rate punch into a turbo charged strike, and if you can move your arm, you can use it.

Add it to your arsenal. It comes with a nylon holster, or you can carry it wherever its convenient.

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

Many years ago my father in law was sitting around the kitchen table with a number of the relatives, almost all of whom happened to be lawyers, including himself. He had been retired for at least a decade, after a long and distinguished career at a Fortune 100 company.

The others were all partners, or managing partners, in their respective firms. The discussion turned to one of the in laws, not at the table, and his job, which was in the district attorney’s office. The subject’s wife was also an attorney at a large New York corporation. Earlier in the day she had made the statement that her husband was working in the district attorney’s office because (they) were committed to public service.

With the subject’s not in the room, my father in law opined that what that statement really meant was that Larry, (not real name), couldn’t get a real job. He went on to say that no really good attorney would ever consider working for the government, on any level.

The discussion went on further, with one of the other guys saying that if you took his law school graduating class, (8 years prior), that the top half was working in the private sector, and the bottom half was working for the government, with room for an exception here and there.

The others agreed. Curious…since I’m not an attorney, I asked how the government wins cases. The answer was unanimous. “They cheat, and break all the rules they are supposed to keep. So cases are not really about the law, but about whether or not you can catch the government cheating.”

Months later I was reading a book by Gerry Spence, a famed defense attorney, who I believe never lost a single case that he tried, and a great majority of them were against the government. Spence said that he never tried a single case where the government did not lie, cheat, or break the rules, and this included federal, state, and municipal governments.

The key to winning, according to Spence, was to expose the government agents as liars, cheaters, and lawbreakers. This was fairly easy, according to him, because they weren’t very smart. If they were smart, he said, they wouldn’t be working for the government, which was the last refuge of the lazy and incompetent.

That’s what I was thinking last night as Democrat’s danced and shouted in the aisles as they passed the so called health reform bill, which is the worst piece of legislation in history.

No matter that 55% of the country is against it, that it will significantly increase the deficit, and that none of them have even read it, including the President, who is constantly telling us how good it is, in spite of not knowing what’s in it himself.

Now the President is a law school graduate, and he went to work as a community organizer. I don’t need to tell you what my father in law thinks of that.

So what’s coming?

More and more government jobs for the lazy and incompetent. And they pay better than the private sector, so that assures you that there will be a long, long line of applicants that will be almost impossible to fire, unless they engage in child pornography, or murder.

But we know have a list of who voted for the bill.

Get busy, get organized, and start taking them out. (With the ballot.)

Fresh from his victory, Obama will now tackle immigration, and cap and trade. As bad as the health care debacle is, immigration and cap and trade are much, much worse. You can start by sending Republican Senator Lindsey Graham a message: How stupid do you have to be to think you can make a deal with Chuck (U Farley) Schumer on immigration that benefits us?

There are poisonous snakes that would be easier to handle. But Lindsey has that disease that affects all RINO’s. He wants the New York Times to say something nice about him, like he doesn’t beat his wife anymore.

Or if you want to be funny, call his office and ask if the “milkaholic” is in.

We all have work to do, but we can we make a difference if we get started now

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

I haven’t written about the worst President in American history in quite some time, and it’s time to put the gloves on and take a few swings at the most dangerous man to ever to occupy the Oval Office. I’m not talking about Jimmy Carter here, though he held the title until 2008.

What really triggered my anger was a photo of B.O. in the Oval Office, jacket off, shirt sleeves rolled up, and his big feet on the desk while he leaned way back in his chair; in the position that body language experts call the “hump.” What this position means is…”f— you…and anybody that looks like you.”

Ronald Reagan so revered the Oval Office that he would never take off his jacket while he was inside. B.O. keeps the thermostat in the 80’s so he has to strip down in order to work there. (Remember all his campaign talk about where your thermostat should be set?) It’s just another example of his hustler transparency. (Do as I say-not as I do.)

At the moment we are only days away from from his goal of wrecking the economy with unprecedented spending of your money, for little or nothing in return. He is being aided in this endeavor by the Democratic Congress, and the media, who continue to wear blinders, and to parrot whatever he wants them to say.

Even folks who should know better, like priests and nuns, are going along in the name of social justice. This shouldn’t really surprise anyone, since we’ve been supporting them for centuries. They have forgotten, along with the other liberal elites, that you actually have to pay for goods and services, that they don’t just magically appear on your kitchen table.

Former Senator Bob Kerrey of Nebraska once said old Billy Jaye actually enjoyed lying to anybody standing within range of his voice. But with Billy Jaye everybody was in on the joke. He knew he was lying, and so did you. But when Obama tells one whopper after another, he isn’t joking, the hypocrisy runs much more than skin deep, like Billy Jaye. His lying is deeply ingrained, it’s part of his cellular structure.

He is, and always has been a radical Marxist. That’s why he has virtually erased his past. All Obama records are under lock and key at every institution he has ever been. It’s time to stand up and be counted, and I’m not talking about the census.

It’s time to turn these scoundrels out of office, and we have eight months to do it. It’s time to take Pelosi’s private plane away, and for Harry Reid to get a new job. And it’s time for Democratic enablers like John McCain to find a new pasture to graze in too.The only thing worse than a Democrat is a RINO.

Or Al Franken. Maybe we can make Minnesota part of Canada, because all those jokes about the people up there having rocks for brains are apparently true. First Jesse (Get a haircut!) Ventura, then Al Franken. Next they’ll elect a biscuit from Prarie Home Companion, or a nice piece of lutefisk.

Get involved. As far as I’m concerned we have a mook as President, and a Congress full of mook enablers. We might not be able to put them in jail, but we can take away their jobs.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

There’s a predator loose here in the area. He’s not a purse snatcher, stick up artist, carjacker, or burglar. He’s a serial rapist, and he has struck 17 times in the last year in Maryland, Virginia, and the District of Obama.

The 17 number is the number of rapes reported, and we all know that many, many rapes go unreported. Even the police have acknowledged that the number could be much higher.

The thing about this sick bastard is that he is extremely intelligent, and police categorize him as a “hunter.” That means he takes his time staking out his prey. He follows them, and learns their routines, where they go, what they do, and where they live. Then he decides when they are most vulnerable, and he attacks.

He is brutally efficient, and leaves no clues. Police think the reported 17 rapes are just the tip of the iceberg, and what he has done in this fairly small geographical area. He seems to come and go as he pleases, and police think he travels extensively, hitting an area for months, then disappearing, and then reappearing after a hiatus.

This guy plans every attack very carefully. He doesn’t leave things to chance, and he literally disappears after his act is finished.

What he counts on is that most women are not prepared to defend themselves. They are not carrying anything that would put a kink in his plans, or screw up his carefully orchestrated scenario. He is supremely confident that he can continue his routine without being caught.

But what would he do if he was caught unprepared, what would the scenario be if he was hit in the face with Wildfire Pepper Spray, or hit under the arm with 4 million volts of kilowattage? I think he would come unglued. I think he would fold like a house of cards, just like a schoolyard bully does when someone steps up and whips his ass.

This sicko isn’t the only predator out there. He’s just the worst of the worst, but there are plenty more where he came from. They just aren’t as smart and deliberate, but they are threats just the same. The only way these guys get caught is when someone turns the tables on them, and refuses to play ball.

They never expect to be attacked themselves, and when they are, it turns out they don’t know how to handle it. That’s where they make mistakes.

Nobody should be out on the street without a way to get themselves out of a jam. The price of getting yourself tooled up is within everybody’s reach, and it’s certainly more important than giving your money to Starbucks. This guy will never get caught until somebody attacks him.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/runtstungun.htm

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/wildfire.htm

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

It’s been almost two years since Lonnie and his girlfriend got themselves tooled up. They have an assortment of stun guns, pepper sprays, and heavy artillery, for that “just in case” moment.

That “just in case” moment came last Wednesday night, just after they had gone to the rack. A minute or two after lights out, Lonnie thought he heard a noise. He listened, and then they both heard it.

Lonnie went for the heavy artillery, and his girlfriend retrieved a canister of Wildfire, the 9 ounce Pistol Grip, to be exact.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/wildfire.htm

Both of them made their way to the kitchen, which was where they heard the noise. Sure enough, there was a mook making his way through a window. At the moment they saw him he was about halfway in, and he had caught his hoodie on something.

He was trying to get unhooked from whatever caught him when Lonnie’s girlfriend slipped quietly up to within a foot or so. He managed to extricate himself, and then put both hands on the kitchen floor as he continued shimmying in. It was then that Lonnie’s girlfriend opened up the canister of Whoop Ass on the mook, spraying him just like she was painting a wall; over and back, up and down, over and back until he was glistening in the moonlight.

Lest you forget, getting sprayed in the face with Wildfire is the equivalent of getting your face pushed in to white hot coals. It gets your attention like nothing else. The mook pushed himself back out the window in a very athletic manuever, considering the circumstances.

When he hit the ground he let loose with a string of adjectives guaranteed to make even a rough talking man blush. Then he tried rubbing the Wildfire off, which only compounded his problem. He started bellowing about being blind, and how he would rather be dead than blind.

Lonnie called the cops to pick him up, and the mook told the cops the samething. They told him they wished that they could help, but the law didn’t permit them to shoot him.

(In this state the law does permit you to shoot a mook who comes into your home, so the mook should consider himself extremely lucky.)

Lonnie and his girlfriend had to air out the house, so they lost a little sleep, but it could have been much worse.

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

One of the longtime Kahunanites mailed me a few stories about the French, and British, which are worth sharing with everyone.

Back in the 60s, the Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France, when Chuck DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all U.S. military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded, “Does that include all the ones who are buried here?”

Chuck did not respond.

When in England, at a very large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Cantebury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of “empire building” by George Bush.

He answered by saying, “Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land that we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.”

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a conference that included Admirals from the U.S., British, Canadian, Australian, and French navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of these countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their malt beverages, but a French Admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.

He then asked, “Why is it we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?”

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, “Maybe it’s because the Brit’s, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.”

That ought to put a smile on your face today, because it truly is an honor to be an American, even when it’s Commander in Chief is bowing to to every vegemite King in the universe.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com

Wouldn’t you like to just jack up these European cowards with some voltage?

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

Down in Gainesville, Florida, according to the Gainesville Sun, a man named Gary was watching the vidiot box when someone knocked on his door. Gary, a wheelchair user, placed his revolver, a .45 Colt, on his lap before responding to the knock.

He said he had an uneasy feeling because the hour was late, and he was not expecting company. “I was suspicious,” Gary said, “I really didn’t want to open the door.”

At the door were a pair of mooks, one 24, the other 18, with a third mook waiting in the vehicle parked in front of his house. When Gary answered the door, one of the mooks requested a jump start for his car, while the other mook, who had a bandanna over his face…rushed him and bowled him over.

Gary fired multiple shots, striking mook numero uno in the chest. Now imagine this…mook numero uno, who was pronounced dead at the scene, had a long history of criminal behavior, and had been rehabilitated.

The two other mooks fled the scene separately after their partner in crime took a couple of rounds. They were later found, apprehended, and are awaiting trial on charges of second degree murder, and attempted home invasion.

Gary says several folks have called and told him he is a hero, but he doesn’t feel like one. He says, “A hero usually helps people, not shoots them.”

Well…that’s correct, but it doesn’t make Gary any less a hero for defending himself, and his home. Most normal folks aren’t out late at night, wearing a mask, and trying to break into someone’s home either.

Nobody really wants to use lethal force, but sometimes it is necessary to protect yourself.

Would a non lethal weapon have worked in this situation? It certainly could have been, but that’s your choice. (At the moment)

It’s up to you to decide how you deal with a home invasion, and nobody else’s business. That’s why I always say, “Have a plan.” You need to know how you’re going to handle a situation like this before it happens.

If you decide you’re going with non lethal solutions, then you need to have the tools you need to make sure you come out on top of the situation. You can find almost everything you need at Big Kahuna Security.

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

I would never have opened the door myself.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

Some mooks are just plain stipude. There just isn’t any other way to say it, and they give some of the slicker mooks a really bad name. Last week in southern Cali Forn Ya, (and isn’t it good that Ahn Nuld’s term is finally coming to an end), a mook tried to rob a cashier at a drive in, and instead of getting money, got a facefull of Mace Triple Action.

He took off swearing and running, and I guess he didn’t realize he’d been birth marked by the UV dye. Mace Triple Action contains pepper spray, tear gas, and UV dye. The dye leaves a big, easily recognizable splotch of red wherever you get hit that lasts 24 hours.

With such a mark on you, it is fairly easy for police to find you on the street. It’s like looking for a guy who had a paint bucket dropped on his head, because you sort of stand out in a crowd.

This clown prince didn’t even know he was walking around with the mark of Satan on his face. He told police that he sat around in an alley waiting for the pepper spray and tear gas to wear off, then decided to hightail it home to get some different clothes.

As he walked along the street he thought he just blended in with all the other people, and even asked the cops why they singled him out. The police told him that they tracked him down with a laser beam, and he just shook his head and said, “Damn…y’all using laser beams on us now?”

http://www.bigkahunasecurity.com/tripleaction.htm

Well…I guess his mother skipped the brain station when she was picking out his parts, or maybe they were made by Toyota. (Or Government Motors) If they were made by Toyota, at least there’s a chance the problem could be fixed. But if he has genuine GM parts, he’s certainly doomed.

Stay aware, alert, and have a plan.

Aloha kaua,

Nui (Big) Kahuna

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